Sometimes life has those moments

Sometimes life has those moments.

They’re the moments where you’re happy,
peaceful, joyful, free. And you’re not
alone. They’re the moments when you don’t even want
to jump out your window and run away
or make a cup of tea to cling to,
as though drinking it might keep you alive or sane.

You don’t try to fall asleep,
because then you’d have to put on tomorrow,
and for once you’re not dying
to shed this today quite yet.

They’re the moments that make you remember the days
when these moments were ordinary, when you’d think to yourself
that sometimes life has those moments that make you
feel sad.

Next thing you know, you don’t even know
what life has, but you’re pretty sure
that you don’t have life.

Your grandpa might, though.

He’d sit on his screened-in Carolina porch
smoking a smoke break,
watching the rings form in front of his nose.
You weren’t sure whether those rings inspired his thoughts
or ceased them, but it made him seem so lacking in life,
at least at the time.

Except, now you’re older, wise.
Now you know that as far as getting life goes,
he might be the only one who comes close.
For all you know, maybe thanks to that smoke.
And it’s funny, because
he’s the one most acquainted with death.

Yet here you are, young,
sitting in bed, afraid to sleep, fearing that you
will wake up dead
but breathing.

Maybe your peaceful grandpa didn’t make it this far.
Maybe he hurtled right over this bar.
But maybe he crashed here a while too.
So you think that you might actually
try a cigar tomorrow.
Maybe it was his getaway car.

But does getting away get you to anywhere?
And is life any safer or friendlier there?
Maybe you’ll just say a bedtime prayer
and remember the days when that felt so religious
instead of tired, routine, superstitious,
which it doesn’t, if you’re honest with yourself.

Because this is one of those moments,
those moments where you’re happy,
peaceful, joyful, free. And you’re not
alone. They’re the moments when you don’t even want
to jump out your window to run away
or make a cup of tea to cling to,
as though drinking it might keep you alive or sane.
You fall asleep, for you’re not afraid-
Tomorrow might just be a dress that’s well-made.
This moment might not be the last one to cling to in store.

It makes you believe that there might be more,
and the moment feels like favorite footie pajamas,
which everyone knows are not made for tight keeping,
but for nestling snuggling, resting, and sleeping
and for still being there in the
morning,

when you’ll dress yourself
in another new outfit that’s perfectly fit for the day

and whatever may come your way.

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4 thoughts on “Sometimes life has those moments

  1. I love this poem. It has everything: night, fear of the unknown (death), our incapability of freeing ourselves from obsessive thoughts…and best of all, that wonderful kernel of hope, that shining candle we hold up to cast away the dark.
    I hope the dress of today is one that will fit you perfectly and one that you can dance in 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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